Nov 21, 2023
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You're listening to the Oracle Maven podcast, where we bring people
together from the veteran affiliated community to highlight
employees, partners, organized actions, and those who are
continuing the mission to serve. Welcome to the main podcast. I'm
your host, Chris Spencer, and in this episode I'm joined by our
co-host David Cross, senior vice president and SAS, chief
information security officer within Oracle.
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In this episode, we're talking emotional intelligence building up
from previous episodes. We're connecting a flow of developing our
skills to be better contributors to common goals, team dynamics and
personal growth. IQ includes important abilities like recognize
what you observe, how you react, and how others perceive you want
to improve. Are you interested in becoming a greater asset to those
around you?
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Take a listen and we'll support you in that effort. We have all we
need to become the person we want to be. So let's remember how to
connect with others with sincerity and genuine intent. As we
continue the mission to serve. Thanks for listening. We hope you
enjoy this episode and please remember to check in on your buddies
and family.
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David's contact details are in the podcast description and you can
always find me on LinkedIn Good morning, David Cross. How are
you?
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You know, Chris, today I'm a little emotional, right? What's going
on in the world, but we're going to take it to a new direction
here, I think, with our topic today.
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Got it. Ten today. We're talking about emotional intelligence, why
it matters. Some of the key components to consider when you're
thinking about how effective are you, what are you doing to prepare
yourself to go out and influence others in a way that they can see
what you're asking for, they can understand it. And then more
importantly, something happens as a result of that.
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There's action taken.
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You know, Chris, you know, I think about this a little bit is, you
know, IQ, right? Or the emotional quotient or emotional
intelligence II. You know, it's one of those things that is I wish
could be on every resume. You're looking at people, right? But
like, how do you measure it? Right. How you quantify it, right? How
do you you know, does someone have you know, emotional intelligence
or IQ?
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I think one of the challenges at the same time, if you think about
our history and your experience, of hiring people, what's sometimes
the one number one failure that you sometimes see when you hire
someone, they look great, but then they have no IQ, right? It's a
total disaster. So I think is maybe something we should talk about
today.
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I think you're right. And in a lot of those components, you know,
that I mean, we can break it down. There's a lot of good
references. I mean, let's let's out of the gate, let's talk about
one of the main ones that everybody's already familiar with, Daniel
Goleman, emotional intelligence There are other resources that are
self-help, like books coming from a valid, credible resource like
organizational psychologists and whatnot.
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I mean, the list is deep and you can get into the details of it
from philosophical approach to the psychological facts and science
and experience you know, all of those things contributing. You
know, you talked about some things that were specific examples that
contribute to one's ability to know how to navigate the area to
where you can understand what it takes to be effective.
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Emotional intelligence includes probably starts with, I guess, safe
to say, and we can talk about it self. Right. It's it's it's it's
your perspective and others perspective is basically the breakdown
of the views of who's considering judging, classifying,
categorizing, assessing or what have you on whether or not you're
doing the things that influence others in a way where there's an
honest, true understanding of what's going on now.
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True in the sense of perception. We talked about this before. Not
everything is real. You know, it's just the way that we see it. And
so we just have to do the best to try to acknowledge what it is, in
fact, that we're seeing or hearing.
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Well, I think that almost brings to my brings to mind a little bit,
you know, perception right? It's like communication. Right. Is
saying that like sometimes how do you perceive yourself, right. And
out of others perceive you. Right. And it's like it's just like
communication sometimes is your emotional intelligence. Is that
well, are you reading people right in how they are reading you?
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Right. And I think it's one of the most important things is your
feedback, communication, you know, reaching out to mentors is that
do you really have good IQ? Well, how do you know? Have you asked
anyone have you talked to your mentor? Have you gotten for asked
for feedback? And I think sometimes there could be a major delta in
yourself.
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Yeah, you're right. That because this I mean, this is a series of
things that we've landed on almost accidentally. But then we
realized you and I realize that there's a sequence of conversation
topics that will have occurred in the previous episodes leading up
to this one. Right. Relationships and trust, how you define
everything that you just said comes from a place of acknowledging
and accepting, right?
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You've acknowledge that somebody either you trust yourself or you
trust somebody else. You've acknowledged something that has allowed
you to decide where you've chosen to accept what it is that is
being said. Or given right. So I'm accepting that my self-talk has
convinced me because it makes sense to me, which we can absolutely
unpack. It makes sense to me.
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And so I accept it. This is how I view this. And then what you
mentioned is the external influence of somebody else coming to you
and saying, Hey, you have really good emotional intelligence, you
have a really good ability to understand the audience, the
situation, the conversation that's occurring how did they come to
be able to assess that to you as from their perception based off of
the other things that are almost aligned to what you're doing for
yourself?
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Right. Because you like it and you're comfortable. You might now
find you lean towards that because it is comfort. So you go with
that. They might have a personal motive or a preference as to how
they have come to that conclusion on where you fit within their
assessment based off of their rationalization. So that's kind of
the, the catch 22 is you have to understand yourself well enough to
trust by acknowledging and accepting the opinion of yourself and
others that either agree or don't agree, but you have to get to
that part Absolutely.
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You know, it's amazing that how two different people could say
exactly the same thing in a different in different ways. And the
results and the impact and the emotional and emotional impact is
completely different. We can go back to our military days, right?
We've all seen commanding officers that they give an order and
they're so gruff and you feel like you're dirty or worthless,
whatever.
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And you also have another commanding officer that you can say the
way they express it. Yep. Here's an order. It's tough work. But you
it feels like they care about you. It feels that they understand
the pain you're going to feel from that order and you accept it
completely differently. And that's what leadership is all about, is
understanding the state of who you're talking to, how you
communicate and really evaluating what is the person's emotions,
how will it affect their emotions.
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And it's also so important that context and it's not just the
military, it's the whole world. And there's amazing differences in
leadership and impact. Just based just on that.
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Yeah, you you unloaded on that one. So there's a couple of things
here. So the expectations and expectation settings, it's it's a
realization of a standard, right? Or a goal or classification.
Somewhere along the line, you're determining that somebody has to
be a certain way to be able to do this. Whatever this is, do this
job, do this role, do this project.
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We have to determine what skill sets are compatible with what the
objectives are based off of whatever it is. And I'm using these
words because personally we're not walking down the street saying
these things, Hey, does this person align to my objective? When
you're walking past somebody walking a dog now, you have a
preference. That preference has evolved from something that you
talked about, where empathy plays a big part in this.
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Right? Being able to understand and relate to somebody through
empathy is to make them feel as if you care, right? And that's I
can kind of the main thing is, you know, emotional intelligence can
come down to, you know, several components. But one of the key ones
is how you make others feel is a big influence on whether or not
you're going to continue to have that relationship in the way that
you want it to be or expected to be or need it to be.
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You also talked about something for the context. You mentioned
context, and that I think comes through the experience, those with
more experience. It is safe to assume that they have a higher level
of emotional intelligence, and it's an assumption because of the
experience. We go back to the first thing in expectation, I would
say, and you and I have talked about it before in context, if you
and I are going into a situation where there's we're surrounded by
executives, there's an assumption that because of your experience,
you probably have a better understanding of what the expectations
would be in that setting.
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Right before we even started recording, we talked about junior
enlisted versus senior enlisted, and I'm paraphrasing, the
expectations are different, the understanding of different because
the level of the role is probably assuming that they don't have yet
the experience to put things in context. Therefore, they can't have
the same level of IQ because of the fact that they just don't know
yet.
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They haven't gone through it yet.
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Yeah. Spin on Chris. You know, I think we have to keep reminding of
ready to go back and listen to the podcast about communication. So
when you bring up about context is sometimes ah, experience, I
think it means a really good scenario is that sometimes you can
walk into a scenario or a situation you don't have the
experience.
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So then well how do you act? Well, this comes back in
communication, ask questions because if you don't have experience
and you don't have a context, you can start asking questions that
can help you to understand the landscape, to understand what's
going on, so that you can have the right perspective in context, in
emotional intelligence to act, respond you know, engage the right
way versus blindly guessing.
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Right. You know, your favorite Seinfeld episode, never assume.
Right anything, right? Because you're going to get burnt.
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Right. Yeah. As to curiosity, I think as time will go on, you
become more intimate with instinct or that gut, that gut feel.
Right. The instinctive approach is if something just doesn't feel
right, you know the scenario, you're going down the street walking
down the street, walk into a conversation. It just feels weird.
There's something off that I think also and I'm sure I read it
somewhere.
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So it's just me saying I know it's I think I've it's been stated
before where that is associated. And part of this is, you know,
there's these certain instincts that one has that develops over
time. With the experience that evolves into what we can consider at
a high level to be part of emotional intelligence. You have
awareness, self-awareness, situational awareness, so like you said,
walking into a conversation or something and you're curious if that
is your priority is to understand.
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Probably humility plays a big part in that you're humble enough to
be curious regardless of how you feel, whether or not you're going
to get looked at for asking the dumb question, things like that,
where there really isn't one. If you don't know, setting matters
time in a place, don't forget that. But that's part of the emotion
intelligence if you're curious and and that's how you go into a
situation because you're sincerely trying to accomplish something
collectively.
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We collectively, meaning the same people in the room or the people
in the room, are trying to achieve the same thing. Similar things.
Sincerity will drive you towards not wanting to ask questions, to
learn to contribute, knowing when to ask questions, how to quite
the right question to ask. We've talked about these things also. I
think it's just an understanding of being able to develop that over
time, gives you gives you the opportunity to know you're on the
right path.
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You know, Chris, the ah, you know, it's kind of thinking on this
overall topic and maybe it could be, you know, on a landmine that
someone could step into is like is the world global? Now we work
for a global company you know, there are people from many different
different countries and backgrounds and things like that. Different
languages, right?
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Is English the native language for everyone in the world? No.
Right. And do we all have the same culture and background and
gestures? No. Right. And I think this is very, very important
sometimes when we work in diverse teams, right. We're not just
about out of geographic of ethnicity and backgrounds. Other things
is we have to be very aware of that.
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Is that how someone's language could it we we could read it
incorrectly or treat it incorrectly or improperly. And I think so
very different. I won't use any of the typical stereotypical biased
examples here, but is that some people could read and perceive
right are a statement very differently based on language alone. And
I think that's very, very important to be aware of in this overall
topic.
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100% a great great poll. It's global, right? And if we go into
outdated characteristics or an understanding of where we play a
part in a global role and we haven't yet been exposed to what that
actually means and that that's I'm not I'm not going to begin to
try to unpack that one. It's hard because there's a lot of things
that you have to do and we talked about this in different ways over
the last many episodes is effort the amount of effort is dependent
upon your interest.
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If you prioritize things, then the effort doesn't necessarily
equate to hard or easy. You just understand it's necessary in order
to achieve what you want to achieve. That's part of the issue is
how much effort is it going to take to understand all of the things
that are going to contribute to the success of myself and others.
That in itself is probably a solid approach to understand how you
can without even trying become better at acknowledging your
emotional intelligence, understanding it well enough to say, here
are the requirements and here's what I need to do, and then you map
it out.
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Absolutely. So we're coming back to, you know, hiring people. You
know, Chris, you know, you're involved with recruiting and hiring
people, you know, which is better high IQ or high IQ.
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Yeah, I figured you were going to give me up on that one.
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We have to have a fun podcast, right? Chris, do you want us to be
boring and everyone? That's what I is it is supposed to be. I was
proud to have a podcast here. People listen to Fall Asleep. Not
every night, you know?
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Yep. So I'm going to give the classic answer that I found myself
acknowledging in most intelligence. And I'm saying, well, it's
appropriate. It depends. Right. I would like to say that because
the way that I look at it is this is the actions where there is
nothing that we're doing right now that is our own right. And what
I mean by that is we're reacting to somebody else's action.
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You don't know if it's this conversation or something. A month ago.
A year ago. It doesn't matter. We're reacting. I feel in that way.
So it goes back to how you how you prepare in hiring, when you're
looking for somebody to fill a role how you define the role
requirements by restricting the explanation into a job description.
Well, if you're not an excellent writer or translator of thought
into words and writing it effectively to where people can now read
that without emotion, they just see it for what it is and everybody
walks away with the same understanding of what the requirements
are.
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You should understand that that's part of the problem if you're
going to answer that question, because in that you still have to
define what it is that you're looking for. And then you have to go
through the verbal approach. And so now you have let's say you and
I say I'm interviewing with you. I have to do everything that we
just talked about.
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I have to make assumptions on who I'm speaking with. To demonstrate
something that's going to fit into your perception of what you're
looking for. I don't know what that is. I just know that I read a
job description. There's been somebody that talked to me about the
role and somewhat of the culture that I'm the role sits in.
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And now I have to make assessments on how do I make sure that I'm
being my organic self to you. Without eliminating me from a
possibility of taking the job because it's a it's a delicate
dance.
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You know, Chris, I think that's a great example, you know, and I
think as both for hiring managers as well as candidates. Right. Is
is hiring manager. You really want you should lay out saying, hey,
this is the state of the organization. Right? It could be a very
diverse organization. Or it could actually be maybe not so.
Right.
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And really so that is very clear what the expectations are. What
are the needs? Right. So people say, well, I fit into that or not.
Right. Likewise, I think as a candidate, you should always look and
understand, right? You know, where the organization is. And so that
you say, will you be a good match for that or are you going to step
into something that it's not going to be where you are from an ego
perspective, maybe this will not be a good match or maybe could be
dangerous.
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And I think we should be open and honest and both directions on
this.
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And in that, you defined what you can consider to be in a higher
ratios of animal, emotional, intelligent individual. Right. You're
recognizing these variables based off of your experience. Now,
you've you've been in a career for, you know, decades to where you
can understand these things. You've accumulated a lot of this
information to where it allows you to leverage that and then put it
to good use.
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Maybe this is the best way to say it. And that's a fair that's a
fair way to do it. Unfortunately, that's not across the board from
everywhere that we've experienced. I'm sure all of us can name at
least one scenario where it wasn't like that. It wasn't
transparent. It wasn't a place to where you feel you can be
brutally honest with each other and know that it's the position
that you're discussing through dialog to get to the end state of
knowing each other better.
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I think I think you're right. I think in that case, I'll tell you
this, if I had to pick one because you asked the question, I would
say IQ to me is more important than IQ. And I'm not completely
aware of the depths of what both of those mean independently. Of
each other. I can just say from my understanding, I would choose IQ
over IQ just for the basic nature of being able to relate higher
probability of relating to others more often because it's all about
people connecting with people.
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And you just gave a scenario where your focus was connecting.
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You know, I think that I think some jobs will be different, but
certainly I think we're we're, you know, maybe used to or very
familiar for the past in a long time here, I could say that we're
working in teams and organizations in so that having low IQ is
dangerous territory. Right. And people that could be really caustic
and dangerous and create a bad environment.
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But we'll be honest, right? We're not we're not our audience here.
The veteran community is not just working in high tech not just
working large companies and things like that. Yes. Sometimes there
will be some differences so someone can be an individual right and
not have to deal with others. Maybe that's okay. I'm not saying
have a no IQ is a good thing anybody.
00;19;53;06 - 00;20;11;22
But I think it's like you really need to again, the context of the
position and expectations. But certainly I think of that in I'd say
almost all companies that having low IQ as a people manager is
almost a guaranteed the plane is going to crash yeah.
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It's there's probably a higher point of failure in that, you know,
because it does I mean, people move things I mean, I'm declaring it
as if it's my we know this. We don't we can't do it alone. You
know, we need people around us. There's a supporting cast of crew
in everything that we're doing, whether you acknowledge it or
recognize it's matters less.
00;20;35;24 - 00;21;00;24
But everybody's giving us support in some capacity like we talked
about. It's indirect. It could be appearing the independent of each
other, but it's not everything that we accumulate is is stored
information and recalled at some point, I believe so you know I
think the kind of the the summary at this point is, you know, it is
maybe the question for you.
00;21;01;12 - 00;21;10;07
We skimmed over it. We talked about it. But you asked me a
question. I asked you a question. Should I care more about what
others think or should I care more about what I think?
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Wow. At first I was I said, oh, this is an easy answer. Then you
really stop me there for a second. Right?
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You know, why am I hesitating on this one? Certainly at first I was
going to say it is it's what everyone else thinks of course. Right.
But I think maybe that's you're trying to be clever here, Chris,
and give me the trick question. But like what everyone thinks may
not be what I really think I am. Right. And that's the maybe that's
a problem in itself, right, is that I think I'm a caring, loving
person.
00;21;49;01 - 00;22;05;02
But everyone thinks I'm an evil tyrant or an micromanager. Right.
And I think the real answer is you have to look at both and saying,
do they match? If they don't match, then you say there's a problem
that you need to explore and figure out.
00;22;07;21 - 00;22;32;16
Fair, very neutral answer, but I'll take it because it's not wrong.
You're right. Situational. You know, if if we if we subscribe to
the theory that working together in teams, direct or indirect you
know, you have to influence others. And so you have to consider
what they're feeling and what they're thinking about, whether or
not you're in the capacity that is necessary for everybody.
00;22;32;16 - 00;22;49;04
To feel confident in moving forward. So strength finders, I'll
introduce this real quick. We've talked about it before, a
scientific approach. If you can go Google it, you know, look it up.
I'm sure many are familiar. If not, though, check it out. It's a
fun thing to be able to assess where you're in. There's plenty of
these tools out there.
00;22;49;04 - 00;23;13;11
But, you know, the defines there's four things that a leader, a
follower wants from a leader, trust, compassion, stability and
hope. Well, if what you had said is any indication of how any of
those four can be impacted, if I don't have that in the leader, I
don't have trust I don't have or the leader doesn't have the trust
doesn't have the compassion, which we talked about.
00;23;13;11 - 00;23;32;26
You kind of mentioned earlier about how you make me feel. And as a
follower, leader doesn't provide the opportunity for me to trust
that you have there's a stable environment and then give me hope.
And for those of us have jokes, hope is not a course of action, but
it does play a part in whether or not you can survive in certain
scenarios.
00;23;33;16 - 00;23;55;23
If we don't have any of those for it could break. So I think you're
right. It's just a matter of understanding you take into
consideration whether people think what or what other people think.
But there is a there is a factor that weighs into how you're
because it still comes back to you on how you're receiving
information, whether or not yourself talking you're true to
yourself.
00;23;57;07 - 00;24;01;05
It still has to transmit what other people think and you still have
to process it.
00;24;02;10 - 00;24;39;10
You know, the one thing that I still think about in this area is in
the question you asked is, is there still an element on what you
want your your IQ to be versus your perceived IQ? Right. You know,
and and that's really important. I think sometimes that of what you
think saying, hey, I'm just being caring and loving and
compassionate and, you know, green on the you know, the chart
signal that's not everyone sees you as red, blue right.
00;24;41;06 - 00;24;54;13
And isn't that not an important element that everyone should go
through on a regular basis? Right. Is just like technical skills.
Right. You should have my keeping up to up to speed with my
technical skills, but I may keep you up to speed with my IQ.
00;24;55;07 - 00;25;35;17
Yeah, it's a tool I you're that's great talking about that. It abs
it is absolute an absolute tool that's necessary to be successful.
Now, you can call it different things, you know, don't even call it
emotional intelligence. Call it anything else. Like, are you able
to understand things that are occurring around you in a way that
you can have the same or common language used not only with
yourself but with others to be able to address it in a way that you
can still take your position because your skill development also is
now relative interpretation of the scenario situation, words,
actions, observations, all those things.
00;25;35;17 - 00;26;00;12
Right. You have to understand it and know that it's evolving.
Everything is development, right? Every every scenario, even if
it's it feels repetitious, it's giving you an idea of like oh,
that, that equates to a trend as we defined it. What's happening
similar or the same as before. And it's common. It's a trend if
you're recognizing things to be a trend and you're resisting that
influence.
00;26;00;12 - 00;26;20;29
But things are now changing. Now we talk about how you're not being
relevant because you're refusing to accept the ever changing
environment which now is limiting your ability to contribute
effectively. Therefore, what you're probably going to experience is
getting pushed out of the circle of that action. Right. You now
you're no longer going to be wanted on the team.
00;26;20;29 - 00;26;36;10
Now you're no longer to be valued member. Now you're not
contributing in a way that's relevant to the expectations and the
goals set forth because you're not accepting the evolution. Now,
it's not to say that you have to what it has to what I think is it
means that you have to be able to adapt to it and grow from it.
00;26;36;21 - 00;26;53;25
Or make a decision. You either refuse to accept it or you accept
it, but acknowledging that for yourself is you're either in it or
you're not, and you have to decide. But I think that's the
evolution of what you just mentioned, is you still have to pay
attention to those things and then decide because you don't want to
lose yourself.
00;26;54;14 - 00;27;03;13
That's what we talk about. Bring in your organic self to to the
workplace or to the scenario, to the family, to whatever you have.
You have to be able to adapt.
00;27;04;05 - 00;27;19;24
So, Chris, I guess this then leads to the one big question I think
for the whole podcast here. And you know, I know you're an avid
book reader and you know, you read way more than I do. But the real
question is how can you improve your emotional intelligence or IQ?
What's what do you recommend?
00;27;21;11 - 00;27;30;25
Hmm. Simple terms. Pay attention. That's it. And Dad jokes, I'll
give you a dollar to pay attention. How's that for.
00;27;30;27 - 00;27;36;28
You saying I give bad jokes here, Chris? No, no, not at all. Great.
I got a guy got a good read on that one. Okay.
00;27;38;06 - 00;27;54;25
Yep. It's paying attention. I mean, you and I, I mean, we I walk
away from each conversation. It simply is. You know, I'm not saying
that we're going into this conversation to deliver something, and
that's it. That's all. It's value. No, the value is that you and I
are going to talk and sincerely exchange information in a way where
I walk.
00;27;55;01 - 00;28;22;25
I walk away knowing something, learning something, you know, so
paying attention to that. Every opportunity that you're presented
with by being present, right? If you're paying attention than your
present, it's an assumption that will help you figure out how you
need to adopt a different approach in order to address the things
that you feel are challenging because now you're now you're going
down the path of discovery.
00;28;22;26 - 00;28;36;12
When you talked about it early, you know, asking not asking
questions doesn't mean necessarily to ask questions than others as
much as it also means ask questions to yourself. Are you
recognizing what's happening and are you talking it through to be
able to know what needs to happen next?
00;28;36;27 - 00;28;50;00
Yeah. So, Chris, you know, what, Brooke, I know you think you've
mentioned one earlier. What book would you recommend to people?
Right, Alex? I know people love books. And sometimes resources are
when you recommend to people that you've read yourself.
00;28;50;28 - 00;29;12;02
Yeah, it's my my default so early, early in what I feel is probably
the best way to describe it. My transformation right is when I've
hit a life stage in a career stage, too, where I feel like I felt
like I needed to do something different, more what have you. I
stumbled across a popular one, the emotional intelligence we talked
about.
00;29;12;02 - 00;29;33;03
Daniel Goleman. I'm a huge fan of the way that not only the book
explains things in the way that he's speaking to these dynamics in
the book. It's also, to me, the catalyst of other other areas of
skillset development that you need to focus on, right? Is
introducing things. And if I were to just do it, I'm going to do
this right now.
00;29;33;03 - 00;29;50;29
I'm just going to flip through the book and land on a page. And
then it's the chapter is managing with Hart. So, you know, we, we
just and that was random. David saw me do it, not that I need to
prove to anybody out there listening, but I've randomly flipped
landed on that managing with heart talk about and.
00;29;51;01 - 00;29;58;06
Everybody I saw audio I saw on. So we don't have to get into the
debate whether this is a fake podcast or not. A fake.
00;29;58;10 - 00;30;10;05
Yeah, this isn't real. This is actually it's not an actual
conversation's all I do. You get it. The emotional intelligence,
artificial intelligence. Do you see that? That's funny. All right.
Coming back in the.
00;30;10;05 - 00;30;10;25
Movie, Chris.
00;30;11;18 - 00;30;37;00
Let's keep it moving. All right. With heart sincerity. You ever you
ever. And I think we've talked about the scenario before. If you
ever walk into a situation, I don't care if it's a perceived
stereotypical way, you know, going to use car dealer or something
to that effect where somebody walks up, there's an intent, right?
Somebody approaches you with a motive, you can feel it and the
words that come next are scripted, not natural.
00;30;37;00 - 00;30;54;07
It just doesn't feel sincere. Right. Well, if you look at that in
in its form, you can recognize that person has a job to do and
they're trying to execute it based off of what has been deemed to
be the appropriate process by the organization that that person's
with. But you know, they're still trying to put food on the
table.
00;30;54;21 - 00;31;15;20
So there's there's a sincerity in there that they're trying to
manage the situation or the people with the sincerity, but having
to go through some of these things that may appear to us to be
crafted. Well, yeah, everything we do is almost like that. So if
you can if you can develop your emotional intelligence in a way
through in this case, a book that I'm suggesting I'm speaking of,
it doesn't matter.
00;31;15;20 - 00;31;53;07
Pick one just to understand that everything is an introduction to
something else. And so if you just follow the path of what that is,
you can learn more not only about yourself, but how others are also
engaging with you. And then now you can strive for perfecting your
craft of human connection to where you can either mitigate that
feeling by having it just calling it outright, saying for what it
is, or play along you know, at the end of the day, we're all trying
to achieve something, but we have to learn better on how we can
connect with others to be able to achieve the same thing without
having to think about whether or not it's
00;31;53;07 - 00;31;53;17
fake.
00;31;54;04 - 00;32;16;29
Yeah, well put Chris in a certainly I know that if this was a video
I was watching right but they're not very good, right? Because it
clearly when you see the videos, their beards are always crafted,
things like that. And the hats always perfectly on. Right. So that
not in this episode. So, you know, so unless they're fooling me, I
don't know, they're pretty good.
00;32;18;22 - 00;32;41;18
But different topic on the book. One is that it's not about IQ, but
I just kind of came across a recent book called Burn Out for
Dummies. And I said, why is this important? How does this apply to
said? Well, eliminate is, I think, is that when many people get
burned out, their IQ II goes down enormously and it kind it becomes
a fire, right?
00;32;41;27 - 00;33;02;25
Someone gets burned out or under stress and things like that. Then
they start losing the kind of view of what's going on around them,
how they treat people those type of things. And sometimes I think
that I think of why this is a great book recommendation. Also, like
to makers like people need to detect when they are burning out
right because that affects their emotional intelligence and IQ
enormously.
00;33;03;15 - 00;33;25;01
There you go. Detect. That's the word of the day. I'm going to I'm
going to use it today. More than once. Yeah. You have to be able to
understand it, to detect it. The you know, this is where it can
become somewhat of a challenge because we can do it in rabbit hole.
But, you know, I feel that we all have instinctive ideas.
00;33;25;01 - 00;33;47;28
They're shaped around a feeling right where it comes from. I can't
explain and I know somebody can. And we can probably get 50 people
in a room and 51 explanations, but you get this feeling. It comes
from somewhere and then that that is, I think, the kind of the key
catalyst for how you're going to be able to detect not only is it
the opportunity, but be able to understand how you're affected by
something.
00;33;48;15 - 00;34;21;29
We had we had brought neurologist on, on, on the show in its early
stages before this podcast evolved. It was a different one, but
talk about stress and his expertize in that area of Expertize was
how to manage stress. And part of that talk included, you know,
identifying the physiological effects and be able to recognize it
early. Now, he was focused on certain part of the special
operations community where your physiological response to stress
was an important indicator whether or not you can be able to
execute in your role.
00;34;22;07 - 00;34;40;15
Right. In I'm being ambiguous, but for those that know, they know
the idea, though, is if you understand how your body is morphing or
changing based off of how it's responding to a situation, then you
have to be able to optimize that and control it and you learn how
to do that and there's techniques to do that. So I think you're
right.
00;34;41;19 - 00;35;05;12
You know, there isn't a level that you should consider. I think
it's a fact that you should consider. You don't you don't have to
get to a certain point to understand that detecting that early is
absolutely critical to your success, because how we we dismiss it
by things by saying like, oh, David's hangry, you know, his blood
sugar this and it's affecting his attitude in his moonlight.
00;35;05;12 - 00;35;25;20
Stuff. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. But if somebody's saying it, that
means it's already been presented. And now think about the effect
some people can write it off as a joke, but now how are you going
into a decision where you actually carry that in there? And are you
making the right decision based off of the baseline that you should
have for that type of decision?
00;35;27;03 - 00;35;43;16
Absolutely. You know, and I think it was like a military versus
less formal involvement, like the the Navy's, you know, personal
reliability program. We could think about aviation we could think
about doctors. Is the under stress. Right? We want people to make
the right decisions, right? Be very clinical, are focused. Right.
And this is for all types of jobs.
00;35;43;16 - 00;36;03;15
And I think this is where emotional intelligence comes into play
and very, very important. But how we can detect it, we can be aware
of it and we can actually take actions. And then coming back to an
element of I think, you know, I've talked about many times is that,
you know, sometimes the workday can get very stressful and we can
then say there's so much work, whatever it's like, that's the time
you take a break.
00;36;03;20 - 00;36;15;23
You know, I go for a run, I go for a five K run, and I say I take
that time at 30 minutes out. Right. And then de-stress. So then I
can come back to work and make the right decisions because I remove
that stress.
00;36;16;13 - 00;36;37;26
Yeah, that's. There you go. I'm going to throw it out there. Maybe,
maybe we got a couple of things going on here is maybe. Maybe we
bring that guest back on or bring bring somebody on or talk about
stress and recognize and detect and respond. But the other part of
what you just said is another element of me, because we did talk
about it in some capacity.
00;36;38;07 - 00;37;04;24
I think we sprinkle it in in past episodes, but making the right
decision is probably an element that we should consider talking
about because then we can take all of these previous podcasts on
nutrition and sleep and rest and body functions and climate work
climate and all of the environmental contributors to how it affects
our ability to deliver in the role that we're expected, delivering
it's a good one.
00;37;05;18 - 00;37;26;07
Well, I think there's been a great episode, I think, and I think
it's really excited that of of how we can continue to hear from our
community, how we can kind of help everyone. And I want to call out
that, hey, we're always looking for feedback, right? You know,
certainly as this goes live, you know, ping us on Twitter or X or
they call it now, find us on LinkedIn.
00;37;26;29 - 00;37;36;08
So my I'm on Twitter, our X, I'm on Mr. DB Cross, reach out to us.
We'd love to know what you think. We'd love to know of what you'd
like to hear. And we're here to help the community and that's how
we grow.
00;37;37;08 - 00;38;00;18
That's it. That feedback next episode recommendations, anything we
haven't gotten feedback lately, so maybe this will kick up some
dust in and get us to consider what we can do more of or modify.
But the it's a great up. So David, I think I think, you know,
again, we started to to pull the layers back a little bit on some
of the stuff.
00;38;00;18 - 00;38;14;24
And I think it can warrant maybe getting a little deeper in the
future episode. So I think that's probably what we'll maybe tee up
for the next season is to get into different layers because we're
not so well.
00;38;14;24 - 00;38;34;18
I hope the this season that we finished the season will be, you
know, good for not just us but also for the Seahawks this this
year, you know, but it's kind of tough going every game. We kind of
they just like every episode of their podcast here, it's like we're
going to play one by one. But we're we're really going to kind of
hit that end goal of reaching the Super Bowl.
00;38;34;18 - 00;38;39;12
So we want to be number one on the veteran podcast in the world. So
let's keep trying for it.
00;38;39;27 - 00;38;43;05
We'll keep trying All righty. One keep moving forward.