Preview Mode Links will not work in preview mode

Nov 21, 2023

In this episode we’re talking emotional intelligence. Building up from previous episodes, we’re connecting a flow of developing our skills to be better contributors to common goals, team dynamics, and personal growth. EQ includes important abilities like recognizing what you observe, how you react, and how others perceive you. Want to improve? Are you interested in becoming a greater asset to those around you? Take a listen and we’ll support you in that effort!
We have all we need to become the person we want to be…let’s remember how to connect with others with sincerity and genuine intent as we continue the mission to serve.
Thanks for listening. We hope you enjoy this episode and please remember to check in on your buddies and family.
Episode Transcript:

00;00;08;00 - 00;00;28;29
You're listening to the Oracle Maven podcast, where we bring people together from the veteran affiliated community to highlight employees, partners, organized actions, and those who are continuing the mission to serve. Welcome to the main podcast. I'm your host, Chris Spencer, and in this episode I'm joined by our co-host David Cross, senior vice president and SAS, chief information security officer within Oracle.

00;00;29;08 - 00;00;50;26
In this episode, we're talking emotional intelligence building up from previous episodes. We're connecting a flow of developing our skills to be better contributors to common goals, team dynamics and personal growth. IQ includes important abilities like recognize what you observe, how you react, and how others perceive you want to improve. Are you interested in becoming a greater asset to those around you?

00;00;51;09 - 00;01;05;27
Take a listen and we'll support you in that effort. We have all we need to become the person we want to be. So let's remember how to connect with others with sincerity and genuine intent. As we continue the mission to serve. Thanks for listening. We hope you enjoy this episode and please remember to check in on your buddies and family.

00;01;06;00 - 00;01;15;19
David's contact details are in the podcast description and you can always find me on LinkedIn Good morning, David Cross. How are you?

00;01;16;03 - 00;01;23;17
You know, Chris, today I'm a little emotional, right? What's going on in the world, but we're going to take it to a new direction here, I think, with our topic today.

00;01;23;29 - 00;01;49;09
Got it. Ten today. We're talking about emotional intelligence, why it matters. Some of the key components to consider when you're thinking about how effective are you, what are you doing to prepare yourself to go out and influence others in a way that they can see what you're asking for, they can understand it. And then more importantly, something happens as a result of that.

00;01;49;09 - 00;01;50;05
There's action taken.

00;01;51;21 - 00;02;13;05
You know, Chris, you know, I think about this a little bit is, you know, IQ, right? Or the emotional quotient or emotional intelligence II. You know, it's one of those things that is I wish could be on every resume. You're looking at people, right? But like, how do you measure it? Right. How you quantify it, right? How do you you know, does someone have you know, emotional intelligence or IQ?

00;02;14;05 - 00;02;34;21
I think one of the challenges at the same time, if you think about our history and your experience, of hiring people, what's sometimes the one number one failure that you sometimes see when you hire someone, they look great, but then they have no IQ, right? It's a total disaster. So I think is maybe something we should talk about today.

00;02;35;16 - 00;02;58;15
I think you're right. And in a lot of those components, you know, that I mean, we can break it down. There's a lot of good references. I mean, let's let's out of the gate, let's talk about one of the main ones that everybody's already familiar with, Daniel Goleman, emotional intelligence There are other resources that are self-help, like books coming from a valid, credible resource like organizational psychologists and whatnot.

00;02;58;15 - 00;03;25;05
I mean, the list is deep and you can get into the details of it from philosophical approach to the psychological facts and science and experience you know, all of those things contributing. You know, you talked about some things that were specific examples that contribute to one's ability to know how to navigate the area to where you can understand what it takes to be effective.

00;03;25;13 - 00;03;50;28
Emotional intelligence includes probably starts with, I guess, safe to say, and we can talk about it self. Right. It's it's it's it's your perspective and others perspective is basically the breakdown of the views of who's considering judging, classifying, categorizing, assessing or what have you on whether or not you're doing the things that influence others in a way where there's an honest, true understanding of what's going on now.

00;03;50;28 - 00;04;02;27
True in the sense of perception. We talked about this before. Not everything is real. You know, it's just the way that we see it. And so we just have to do the best to try to acknowledge what it is, in fact, that we're seeing or hearing.

00;04;03;11 - 00;04;25;09
Well, I think that almost brings to my brings to mind a little bit, you know, perception right? It's like communication. Right. Is saying that like sometimes how do you perceive yourself, right. And out of others perceive you. Right. And it's like it's just like communication sometimes is your emotional intelligence. Is that well, are you reading people right in how they are reading you?

00;04;25;09 - 00;04;46;05
Right. And I think it's one of the most important things is your feedback, communication, you know, reaching out to mentors is that do you really have good IQ? Well, how do you know? Have you asked anyone have you talked to your mentor? Have you gotten for asked for feedback? And I think sometimes there could be a major delta in yourself.

00;04;47;12 - 00;05;13;18
Yeah, you're right. That because this I mean, this is a series of things that we've landed on almost accidentally. But then we realized you and I realize that there's a sequence of conversation topics that will have occurred in the previous episodes leading up to this one. Right. Relationships and trust, how you define everything that you just said comes from a place of acknowledging and accepting, right?

00;05;13;19 - 00;05;35;20
You've acknowledge that somebody either you trust yourself or you trust somebody else. You've acknowledged something that has allowed you to decide where you've chosen to accept what it is that is being said. Or given right. So I'm accepting that my self-talk has convinced me because it makes sense to me, which we can absolutely unpack. It makes sense to me.

00;05;35;20 - 00;06;03;16
And so I accept it. This is how I view this. And then what you mentioned is the external influence of somebody else coming to you and saying, Hey, you have really good emotional intelligence, you have a really good ability to understand the audience, the situation, the conversation that's occurring how did they come to be able to assess that to you as from their perception based off of the other things that are almost aligned to what you're doing for yourself?

00;06;03;16 - 00;06;35;15
Right. Because you like it and you're comfortable. You might now find you lean towards that because it is comfort. So you go with that. They might have a personal motive or a preference as to how they have come to that conclusion on where you fit within their assessment based off of their rationalization. So that's kind of the, the catch 22 is you have to understand yourself well enough to trust by acknowledging and accepting the opinion of yourself and others that either agree or don't agree, but you have to get to that part Absolutely.

00;06;36;05 - 00;07;01;06
You know, it's amazing that how two different people could say exactly the same thing in a different in different ways. And the results and the impact and the emotional and emotional impact is completely different. We can go back to our military days, right? We've all seen commanding officers that they give an order and they're so gruff and you feel like you're dirty or worthless, whatever.

00;07;01;25 - 00;07;29;07
And you also have another commanding officer that you can say the way they express it. Yep. Here's an order. It's tough work. But you it feels like they care about you. It feels that they understand the pain you're going to feel from that order and you accept it completely differently. And that's what leadership is all about, is understanding the state of who you're talking to, how you communicate and really evaluating what is the person's emotions, how will it affect their emotions.

00;07;29;20 - 00;07;40;26
And it's also so important that context and it's not just the military, it's the whole world. And there's amazing differences in leadership and impact. Just based just on that.

00;07;41;13 - 00;08;05;07
Yeah, you you unloaded on that one. So there's a couple of things here. So the expectations and expectation settings, it's it's a realization of a standard, right? Or a goal or classification. Somewhere along the line, you're determining that somebody has to be a certain way to be able to do this. Whatever this is, do this job, do this role, do this project.

00;08;05;19 - 00;08;25;24
We have to determine what skill sets are compatible with what the objectives are based off of whatever it is. And I'm using these words because personally we're not walking down the street saying these things, Hey, does this person align to my objective? When you're walking past somebody walking a dog now, you have a preference. That preference has evolved from something that you talked about, where empathy plays a big part in this.

00;08;25;24 - 00;08;49;16
Right? Being able to understand and relate to somebody through empathy is to make them feel as if you care, right? And that's I can kind of the main thing is, you know, emotional intelligence can come down to, you know, several components. But one of the key ones is how you make others feel is a big influence on whether or not you're going to continue to have that relationship in the way that you want it to be or expected to be or need it to be.

00;08;49;27 - 00;09;27;03
You also talked about something for the context. You mentioned context, and that I think comes through the experience, those with more experience. It is safe to assume that they have a higher level of emotional intelligence, and it's an assumption because of the experience. We go back to the first thing in expectation, I would say, and you and I have talked about it before in context, if you and I are going into a situation where there's we're surrounded by executives, there's an assumption that because of your experience, you probably have a better understanding of what the expectations would be in that setting.

00;09;27;18 - 00;09;48;22
Right before we even started recording, we talked about junior enlisted versus senior enlisted, and I'm paraphrasing, the expectations are different, the understanding of different because the level of the role is probably assuming that they don't have yet the experience to put things in context. Therefore, they can't have the same level of IQ because of the fact that they just don't know yet.

00;09;48;28 - 00;09;50;01
They haven't gone through it yet.

00;09;50;13 - 00;10;07;28
Yeah. Spin on Chris. You know, I think we have to keep reminding of ready to go back and listen to the podcast about communication. So when you bring up about context is sometimes ah, experience, I think it means a really good scenario is that sometimes you can walk into a scenario or a situation you don't have the experience.

00;10;08;09 - 00;10;33;06
So then well how do you act? Well, this comes back in communication, ask questions because if you don't have experience and you don't have a context, you can start asking questions that can help you to understand the landscape, to understand what's going on, so that you can have the right perspective in context, in emotional intelligence to act, respond you know, engage the right way versus blindly guessing.

00;10;33;06 - 00;10;40;06
Right. You know, your favorite Seinfeld episode, never assume. Right anything, right? Because you're going to get burnt.

00;10;41;01 - 00;11;06;26
Right. Yeah. As to curiosity, I think as time will go on, you become more intimate with instinct or that gut, that gut feel. Right. The instinctive approach is if something just doesn't feel right, you know the scenario, you're going down the street walking down the street, walk into a conversation. It just feels weird. There's something off that I think also and I'm sure I read it somewhere.

00;11;06;26 - 00;11;33;16
So it's just me saying I know it's I think I've it's been stated before where that is associated. And part of this is, you know, there's these certain instincts that one has that develops over time. With the experience that evolves into what we can consider at a high level to be part of emotional intelligence. You have awareness, self-awareness, situational awareness, so like you said, walking into a conversation or something and you're curious if that is your priority is to understand.

00;11;33;16 - 00;11;57;06
Probably humility plays a big part in that you're humble enough to be curious regardless of how you feel, whether or not you're going to get looked at for asking the dumb question, things like that, where there really isn't one. If you don't know, setting matters time in a place, don't forget that. But that's part of the emotion intelligence if you're curious and and that's how you go into a situation because you're sincerely trying to accomplish something collectively.

00;11;57;06 - 00;12;22;27
We collectively, meaning the same people in the room or the people in the room, are trying to achieve the same thing. Similar things. Sincerity will drive you towards not wanting to ask questions, to learn to contribute, knowing when to ask questions, how to quite the right question to ask. We've talked about these things also. I think it's just an understanding of being able to develop that over time, gives you gives you the opportunity to know you're on the right path.

00;12;23;20 - 00;12;44;00
You know, Chris, the ah, you know, it's kind of thinking on this overall topic and maybe it could be, you know, on a landmine that someone could step into is like is the world global? Now we work for a global company you know, there are people from many different different countries and backgrounds and things like that. Different languages, right?

00;12;44;08 - 00;13;06;13
Is English the native language for everyone in the world? No. Right. And do we all have the same culture and background and gestures? No. Right. And I think this is very, very important sometimes when we work in diverse teams, right. We're not just about out of geographic of ethnicity and backgrounds. Other things is we have to be very aware of that.

00;13;06;18 - 00;13;33;04
Is that how someone's language could it we we could read it incorrectly or treat it incorrectly or improperly. And I think so very different. I won't use any of the typical stereotypical biased examples here, but is that some people could read and perceive right are a statement very differently based on language alone. And I think that's very, very important to be aware of in this overall topic.

00;13;33;24 - 00;14;08;22
100% a great great poll. It's global, right? And if we go into outdated characteristics or an understanding of where we play a part in a global role and we haven't yet been exposed to what that actually means and that that's I'm not I'm not going to begin to try to unpack that one. It's hard because there's a lot of things that you have to do and we talked about this in different ways over the last many episodes is effort the amount of effort is dependent upon your interest.

00;14;09;02 - 00;14;42;20
If you prioritize things, then the effort doesn't necessarily equate to hard or easy. You just understand it's necessary in order to achieve what you want to achieve. That's part of the issue is how much effort is it going to take to understand all of the things that are going to contribute to the success of myself and others. That in itself is probably a solid approach to understand how you can without even trying become better at acknowledging your emotional intelligence, understanding it well enough to say, here are the requirements and here's what I need to do, and then you map it out.

00;14;43;10 - 00;14;55;15
Absolutely. So we're coming back to, you know, hiring people. You know, Chris, you know, you're involved with recruiting and hiring people, you know, which is better high IQ or high IQ.

00;14;57;19 - 00;14;59;28
Yeah, I figured you were going to give me up on that one.

00;15;01;12 - 00;15;11;24
We have to have a fun podcast, right? Chris, do you want us to be boring and everyone? That's what I is it is supposed to be. I was proud to have a podcast here. People listen to Fall Asleep. Not every night, you know?

00;15;12;23 - 00;15;39;11
Yep. So I'm going to give the classic answer that I found myself acknowledging in most intelligence. And I'm saying, well, it's appropriate. It depends. Right. I would like to say that because the way that I look at it is this is the actions where there is nothing that we're doing right now that is our own right. And what I mean by that is we're reacting to somebody else's action.

00;15;40;06 - 00;16;17;16
You don't know if it's this conversation or something. A month ago. A year ago. It doesn't matter. We're reacting. I feel in that way. So it goes back to how you how you prepare in hiring, when you're looking for somebody to fill a role how you define the role requirements by restricting the explanation into a job description. Well, if you're not an excellent writer or translator of thought into words and writing it effectively to where people can now read that without emotion, they just see it for what it is and everybody walks away with the same understanding of what the requirements are.

00;16;18;13 - 00;16;33;07
You should understand that that's part of the problem if you're going to answer that question, because in that you still have to define what it is that you're looking for. And then you have to go through the verbal approach. And so now you have let's say you and I say I'm interviewing with you. I have to do everything that we just talked about.

00;16;33;07 - 00;16;49;12
I have to make assumptions on who I'm speaking with. To demonstrate something that's going to fit into your perception of what you're looking for. I don't know what that is. I just know that I read a job description. There's been somebody that talked to me about the role and somewhat of the culture that I'm the role sits in.

00;16;49;23 - 00;17;01;10
And now I have to make assessments on how do I make sure that I'm being my organic self to you. Without eliminating me from a possibility of taking the job because it's a it's a delicate dance.

00;17;02;00 - 00;17;16;28
You know, Chris, I think that's a great example, you know, and I think as both for hiring managers as well as candidates. Right. Is is hiring manager. You really want you should lay out saying, hey, this is the state of the organization. Right? It could be a very diverse organization. Or it could actually be maybe not so. Right.

00;17;16;28 - 00;17;41;22
And really so that is very clear what the expectations are. What are the needs? Right. So people say, well, I fit into that or not. Right. Likewise, I think as a candidate, you should always look and understand, right? You know, where the organization is. And so that you say, will you be a good match for that or are you going to step into something that it's not going to be where you are from an ego perspective, maybe this will not be a good match or maybe could be dangerous.

00;17;41;27 - 00;17;44;25
And I think we should be open and honest and both directions on this.

00;17;46;14 - 00;18;12;02
And in that, you defined what you can consider to be in a higher ratios of animal, emotional, intelligent individual. Right. You're recognizing these variables based off of your experience. Now, you've you've been in a career for, you know, decades to where you can understand these things. You've accumulated a lot of this information to where it allows you to leverage that and then put it to good use.

00;18;12;05 - 00;18;33;19
Maybe this is the best way to say it. And that's a fair that's a fair way to do it. Unfortunately, that's not across the board from everywhere that we've experienced. I'm sure all of us can name at least one scenario where it wasn't like that. It wasn't transparent. It wasn't a place to where you feel you can be brutally honest with each other and know that it's the position that you're discussing through dialog to get to the end state of knowing each other better.

00;18;34;23 - 00;19;07;11
I think I think you're right. I think in that case, I'll tell you this, if I had to pick one because you asked the question, I would say IQ to me is more important than IQ. And I'm not completely aware of the depths of what both of those mean independently. Of each other. I can just say from my understanding, I would choose IQ over IQ just for the basic nature of being able to relate higher probability of relating to others more often because it's all about people connecting with people.

00;19;07;11 - 00;19;10;28
And you just gave a scenario where your focus was connecting.

00;19;11;19 - 00;19;34;23
You know, I think that I think some jobs will be different, but certainly I think we're we're, you know, maybe used to or very familiar for the past in a long time here, I could say that we're working in teams and organizations in so that having low IQ is dangerous territory. Right. And people that could be really caustic and dangerous and create a bad environment.

00;19;35;03 - 00;19;53;06
But we'll be honest, right? We're not we're not our audience here. The veteran community is not just working in high tech not just working large companies and things like that. Yes. Sometimes there will be some differences so someone can be an individual right and not have to deal with others. Maybe that's okay. I'm not saying have a no IQ is a good thing anybody.

00;19;53;06 - 00;20;11;22
But I think it's like you really need to again, the context of the position and expectations. But certainly I think of that in I'd say almost all companies that having low IQ as a people manager is almost a guaranteed the plane is going to crash yeah.

00;20;11;22 - 00;20;35;24
It's there's probably a higher point of failure in that, you know, because it does I mean, people move things I mean, I'm declaring it as if it's my we know this. We don't we can't do it alone. You know, we need people around us. There's a supporting cast of crew in everything that we're doing, whether you acknowledge it or recognize it's matters less.

00;20;35;24 - 00;21;00;24
But everybody's giving us support in some capacity like we talked about. It's indirect. It could be appearing the independent of each other, but it's not everything that we accumulate is is stored information and recalled at some point, I believe so you know I think the kind of the the summary at this point is, you know, it is maybe the question for you.

00;21;01;12 - 00;21;10;07
We skimmed over it. We talked about it. But you asked me a question. I asked you a question. Should I care more about what others think or should I care more about what I think?

00;21;11;13 - 00;21;19;02
Wow. At first I was I said, oh, this is an easy answer. Then you really stop me there for a second. Right?

00;21;22;09 - 00;21;49;00
You know, why am I hesitating on this one? Certainly at first I was going to say it is it's what everyone else thinks of course. Right. But I think maybe that's you're trying to be clever here, Chris, and give me the trick question. But like what everyone thinks may not be what I really think I am. Right. And that's the maybe that's a problem in itself, right, is that I think I'm a caring, loving person.

00;21;49;01 - 00;22;05;02
But everyone thinks I'm an evil tyrant or an micromanager. Right. And I think the real answer is you have to look at both and saying, do they match? If they don't match, then you say there's a problem that you need to explore and figure out.

00;22;07;21 - 00;22;32;16
Fair, very neutral answer, but I'll take it because it's not wrong. You're right. Situational. You know, if if we if we subscribe to the theory that working together in teams, direct or indirect you know, you have to influence others. And so you have to consider what they're feeling and what they're thinking about, whether or not you're in the capacity that is necessary for everybody.

00;22;32;16 - 00;22;49;04
To feel confident in moving forward. So strength finders, I'll introduce this real quick. We've talked about it before, a scientific approach. If you can go Google it, you know, look it up. I'm sure many are familiar. If not, though, check it out. It's a fun thing to be able to assess where you're in. There's plenty of these tools out there.

00;22;49;04 - 00;23;13;11
But, you know, the defines there's four things that a leader, a follower wants from a leader, trust, compassion, stability and hope. Well, if what you had said is any indication of how any of those four can be impacted, if I don't have that in the leader, I don't have trust I don't have or the leader doesn't have the trust doesn't have the compassion, which we talked about.

00;23;13;11 - 00;23;32;26
You kind of mentioned earlier about how you make me feel. And as a follower, leader doesn't provide the opportunity for me to trust that you have there's a stable environment and then give me hope. And for those of us have jokes, hope is not a course of action, but it does play a part in whether or not you can survive in certain scenarios.

00;23;33;16 - 00;23;55;23
If we don't have any of those for it could break. So I think you're right. It's just a matter of understanding you take into consideration whether people think what or what other people think. But there is a there is a factor that weighs into how you're because it still comes back to you on how you're receiving information, whether or not yourself talking you're true to yourself.

00;23;57;07 - 00;24;01;05
It still has to transmit what other people think and you still have to process it.

00;24;02;10 - 00;24;39;10
You know, the one thing that I still think about in this area is in the question you asked is, is there still an element on what you want your your IQ to be versus your perceived IQ? Right. You know, and and that's really important. I think sometimes that of what you think saying, hey, I'm just being caring and loving and compassionate and, you know, green on the you know, the chart signal that's not everyone sees you as red, blue right.

00;24;41;06 - 00;24;54;13
And isn't that not an important element that everyone should go through on a regular basis? Right. Is just like technical skills. Right. You should have my keeping up to up to speed with my technical skills, but I may keep you up to speed with my IQ.

00;24;55;07 - 00;25;35;17
Yeah, it's a tool I you're that's great talking about that. It abs it is absolute an absolute tool that's necessary to be successful. Now, you can call it different things, you know, don't even call it emotional intelligence. Call it anything else. Like, are you able to understand things that are occurring around you in a way that you can have the same or common language used not only with yourself but with others to be able to address it in a way that you can still take your position because your skill development also is now relative interpretation of the scenario situation, words, actions, observations, all those things.

00;25;35;17 - 00;26;00;12
Right. You have to understand it and know that it's evolving. Everything is development, right? Every every scenario, even if it's it feels repetitious, it's giving you an idea of like oh, that, that equates to a trend as we defined it. What's happening similar or the same as before. And it's common. It's a trend if you're recognizing things to be a trend and you're resisting that influence.

00;26;00;12 - 00;26;20;29
But things are now changing. Now we talk about how you're not being relevant because you're refusing to accept the ever changing environment which now is limiting your ability to contribute effectively. Therefore, what you're probably going to experience is getting pushed out of the circle of that action. Right. You now you're no longer going to be wanted on the team.

00;26;20;29 - 00;26;36;10
Now you're no longer to be valued member. Now you're not contributing in a way that's relevant to the expectations and the goals set forth because you're not accepting the evolution. Now, it's not to say that you have to what it has to what I think is it means that you have to be able to adapt to it and grow from it.

00;26;36;21 - 00;26;53;25
Or make a decision. You either refuse to accept it or you accept it, but acknowledging that for yourself is you're either in it or you're not, and you have to decide. But I think that's the evolution of what you just mentioned, is you still have to pay attention to those things and then decide because you don't want to lose yourself.

00;26;54;14 - 00;27;03;13
That's what we talk about. Bring in your organic self to to the workplace or to the scenario, to the family, to whatever you have. You have to be able to adapt.

00;27;04;05 - 00;27;19;24
So, Chris, I guess this then leads to the one big question I think for the whole podcast here. And you know, I know you're an avid book reader and you know, you read way more than I do. But the real question is how can you improve your emotional intelligence or IQ? What's what do you recommend?

00;27;21;11 - 00;27;30;25
Hmm. Simple terms. Pay attention. That's it. And Dad jokes, I'll give you a dollar to pay attention. How's that for.

00;27;30;27 - 00;27;36;28
You saying I give bad jokes here, Chris? No, no, not at all. Great. I got a guy got a good read on that one. Okay.

00;27;38;06 - 00;27;54;25
Yep. It's paying attention. I mean, you and I, I mean, we I walk away from each conversation. It simply is. You know, I'm not saying that we're going into this conversation to deliver something, and that's it. That's all. It's value. No, the value is that you and I are going to talk and sincerely exchange information in a way where I walk.

00;27;55;01 - 00;28;22;25
I walk away knowing something, learning something, you know, so paying attention to that. Every opportunity that you're presented with by being present, right? If you're paying attention than your present, it's an assumption that will help you figure out how you need to adopt a different approach in order to address the things that you feel are challenging because now you're now you're going down the path of discovery.

00;28;22;26 - 00;28;36;12
When you talked about it early, you know, asking not asking questions doesn't mean necessarily to ask questions than others as much as it also means ask questions to yourself. Are you recognizing what's happening and are you talking it through to be able to know what needs to happen next?

00;28;36;27 - 00;28;50;00
Yeah. So, Chris, you know, what, Brooke, I know you think you've mentioned one earlier. What book would you recommend to people? Right, Alex? I know people love books. And sometimes resources are when you recommend to people that you've read yourself.

00;28;50;28 - 00;29;12;02
Yeah, it's my my default so early, early in what I feel is probably the best way to describe it. My transformation right is when I've hit a life stage in a career stage, too, where I feel like I felt like I needed to do something different, more what have you. I stumbled across a popular one, the emotional intelligence we talked about.

00;29;12;02 - 00;29;33;03
Daniel Goleman. I'm a huge fan of the way that not only the book explains things in the way that he's speaking to these dynamics in the book. It's also, to me, the catalyst of other other areas of skillset development that you need to focus on, right? Is introducing things. And if I were to just do it, I'm going to do this right now.

00;29;33;03 - 00;29;50;29
I'm just going to flip through the book and land on a page. And then it's the chapter is managing with Hart. So, you know, we, we just and that was random. David saw me do it, not that I need to prove to anybody out there listening, but I've randomly flipped landed on that managing with heart talk about and.

00;29;51;01 - 00;29;58;06
Everybody I saw audio I saw on. So we don't have to get into the debate whether this is a fake podcast or not. A fake.

00;29;58;10 - 00;30;10;05
Yeah, this isn't real. This is actually it's not an actual conversation's all I do. You get it. The emotional intelligence, artificial intelligence. Do you see that? That's funny. All right. Coming back in the.

00;30;10;05 - 00;30;10;25
Movie, Chris.

00;30;11;18 - 00;30;37;00
Let's keep it moving. All right. With heart sincerity. You ever you ever. And I think we've talked about the scenario before. If you ever walk into a situation, I don't care if it's a perceived stereotypical way, you know, going to use car dealer or something to that effect where somebody walks up, there's an intent, right? Somebody approaches you with a motive, you can feel it and the words that come next are scripted, not natural.

00;30;37;00 - 00;30;54;07
It just doesn't feel sincere. Right. Well, if you look at that in in its form, you can recognize that person has a job to do and they're trying to execute it based off of what has been deemed to be the appropriate process by the organization that that person's with. But you know, they're still trying to put food on the table.

00;30;54;21 - 00;31;15;20
So there's there's a sincerity in there that they're trying to manage the situation or the people with the sincerity, but having to go through some of these things that may appear to us to be crafted. Well, yeah, everything we do is almost like that. So if you can if you can develop your emotional intelligence in a way through in this case, a book that I'm suggesting I'm speaking of, it doesn't matter.

00;31;15;20 - 00;31;53;07
Pick one just to understand that everything is an introduction to something else. And so if you just follow the path of what that is, you can learn more not only about yourself, but how others are also engaging with you. And then now you can strive for perfecting your craft of human connection to where you can either mitigate that feeling by having it just calling it outright, saying for what it is, or play along you know, at the end of the day, we're all trying to achieve something, but we have to learn better on how we can connect with others to be able to achieve the same thing without having to think about whether or not it's

00;31;53;07 - 00;31;53;17

00;31;54;04 - 00;32;16;29
Yeah, well put Chris in a certainly I know that if this was a video I was watching right but they're not very good, right? Because it clearly when you see the videos, their beards are always crafted, things like that. And the hats always perfectly on. Right. So that not in this episode. So, you know, so unless they're fooling me, I don't know, they're pretty good.

00;32;18;22 - 00;32;41;18
But different topic on the book. One is that it's not about IQ, but I just kind of came across a recent book called Burn Out for Dummies. And I said, why is this important? How does this apply to said? Well, eliminate is, I think, is that when many people get burned out, their IQ II goes down enormously and it kind it becomes a fire, right?

00;32;41;27 - 00;33;02;25
Someone gets burned out or under stress and things like that. Then they start losing the kind of view of what's going on around them, how they treat people those type of things. And sometimes I think that I think of why this is a great book recommendation. Also, like to makers like people need to detect when they are burning out right because that affects their emotional intelligence and IQ enormously.

00;33;03;15 - 00;33;25;01
There you go. Detect. That's the word of the day. I'm going to I'm going to use it today. More than once. Yeah. You have to be able to understand it, to detect it. The you know, this is where it can become somewhat of a challenge because we can do it in rabbit hole. But, you know, I feel that we all have instinctive ideas.

00;33;25;01 - 00;33;47;28
They're shaped around a feeling right where it comes from. I can't explain and I know somebody can. And we can probably get 50 people in a room and 51 explanations, but you get this feeling. It comes from somewhere and then that that is, I think, the kind of the key catalyst for how you're going to be able to detect not only is it the opportunity, but be able to understand how you're affected by something.

00;33;48;15 - 00;34;21;29
We had we had brought neurologist on, on, on the show in its early stages before this podcast evolved. It was a different one, but talk about stress and his expertize in that area of Expertize was how to manage stress. And part of that talk included, you know, identifying the physiological effects and be able to recognize it early. Now, he was focused on certain part of the special operations community where your physiological response to stress was an important indicator whether or not you can be able to execute in your role.

00;34;22;07 - 00;34;40;15
Right. In I'm being ambiguous, but for those that know, they know the idea, though, is if you understand how your body is morphing or changing based off of how it's responding to a situation, then you have to be able to optimize that and control it and you learn how to do that and there's techniques to do that. So I think you're right.

00;34;41;19 - 00;35;05;12
You know, there isn't a level that you should consider. I think it's a fact that you should consider. You don't you don't have to get to a certain point to understand that detecting that early is absolutely critical to your success, because how we we dismiss it by things by saying like, oh, David's hangry, you know, his blood sugar this and it's affecting his attitude in his moonlight.

00;35;05;12 - 00;35;25;20
Stuff. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. But if somebody's saying it, that means it's already been presented. And now think about the effect some people can write it off as a joke, but now how are you going into a decision where you actually carry that in there? And are you making the right decision based off of the baseline that you should have for that type of decision?

00;35;27;03 - 00;35;43;16
Absolutely. You know, and I think it was like a military versus less formal involvement, like the the Navy's, you know, personal reliability program. We could think about aviation we could think about doctors. Is the under stress. Right? We want people to make the right decisions, right? Be very clinical, are focused. Right. And this is for all types of jobs.

00;35;43;16 - 00;36;03;15
And I think this is where emotional intelligence comes into play and very, very important. But how we can detect it, we can be aware of it and we can actually take actions. And then coming back to an element of I think, you know, I've talked about many times is that, you know, sometimes the workday can get very stressful and we can then say there's so much work, whatever it's like, that's the time you take a break.

00;36;03;20 - 00;36;15;23
You know, I go for a run, I go for a five K run, and I say I take that time at 30 minutes out. Right. And then de-stress. So then I can come back to work and make the right decisions because I remove that stress.

00;36;16;13 - 00;36;37;26
Yeah, that's. There you go. I'm going to throw it out there. Maybe, maybe we got a couple of things going on here is maybe. Maybe we bring that guest back on or bring bring somebody on or talk about stress and recognize and detect and respond. But the other part of what you just said is another element of me, because we did talk about it in some capacity.

00;36;38;07 - 00;37;04;24
I think we sprinkle it in in past episodes, but making the right decision is probably an element that we should consider talking about because then we can take all of these previous podcasts on nutrition and sleep and rest and body functions and climate work climate and all of the environmental contributors to how it affects our ability to deliver in the role that we're expected, delivering it's a good one.

00;37;05;18 - 00;37;26;07
Well, I think there's been a great episode, I think, and I think it's really excited that of of how we can continue to hear from our community, how we can kind of help everyone. And I want to call out that, hey, we're always looking for feedback, right? You know, certainly as this goes live, you know, ping us on Twitter or X or they call it now, find us on LinkedIn.

00;37;26;29 - 00;37;36;08
So my I'm on Twitter, our X, I'm on Mr. DB Cross, reach out to us. We'd love to know what you think. We'd love to know of what you'd like to hear. And we're here to help the community and that's how we grow.

00;37;37;08 - 00;38;00;18
That's it. That feedback next episode recommendations, anything we haven't gotten feedback lately, so maybe this will kick up some dust in and get us to consider what we can do more of or modify. But the it's a great up. So David, I think I think, you know, again, we started to to pull the layers back a little bit on some of the stuff.

00;38;00;18 - 00;38;14;24
And I think it can warrant maybe getting a little deeper in the future episode. So I think that's probably what we'll maybe tee up for the next season is to get into different layers because we're not so well.

00;38;14;24 - 00;38;34;18
I hope the this season that we finished the season will be, you know, good for not just us but also for the Seahawks this this year, you know, but it's kind of tough going every game. We kind of they just like every episode of their podcast here, it's like we're going to play one by one. But we're we're really going to kind of hit that end goal of reaching the Super Bowl.

00;38;34;18 - 00;38;39;12
So we want to be number one on the veteran podcast in the world. So let's keep trying for it.

00;38;39;27 - 00;38;43;05
We'll keep trying All righty. One keep moving forward.